There’s an old Australian entertainer, lying, denying
And he walks up into the witness box, takes an oath, and says to the
Court
Where victims, reporters and his family are gathered …
I didn't do anything wrong, John, I didn’t do anything wrong
She gave me the greatest come on, John, I didn't do anything wrong
She only sat on me lap, Pat, she only sat on me lap
What she told is a whole heap of crap, Pat, but she only sat on me lap
She was 18 when we met, pet, she was 18 when we met
I’m a lovely bloke so don’t fret, pet, she was 18 when we met
I went up to read her a book, Brooke, I went up to read her a book
My intentions she must have mistook, Brooke, I just went up to read her a
book
I won’t be pleading to this, Chris, I won’t be pleading to this
These girls are taking the piss, Chris, I wont be pleading this
You know I painted the Queen, Christine, you know I painted the Queen
A painting that won’t ever be seen, Christine, you know I painted the
Queen
It’s all made up in her head, Fred, it’s all made up in her head
Yes I know lay in her bed, Fred, but it’s all made up in her head
When I sang about two little boys, Troy, I didn’t mean to be coy
And I never played with their toys, Troy, when I sang about two little
boys
For each one I've got an excuse, Bruce, for each one I have an excuse
They're the best stories I can produce, Bruce, for each one I have an excuse
For each one I've got an excuse, Bruce, for each one I have an excuse
They're the best stories I can produce, Bruce, for each one I have an excuse
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