March 20: I just cried ...

I just cried

I missed her

I missed her so much I could touch it

But she was gone

Forever

I felt sad for her
But most of all I felt sad for me

So I cried

And I cried

I hadn’t ever met anyone like her

The times that we spent together were
Now, looking back, surreal

I was in a different place and time

I was in her place and time

And I reveled in it

But now I missed her

Terribly

For a while
During the first three or four months
After she was gone
I often cried uncontrollably

I lamented what I had lost

I was grieving

I was lost

So I cried

Then, one night, I made a pact

I would cry no more

Not for her

Not for me

She was gone, and I had to get used to it

Crying wouldn't bring her back

She didn’t care that I was crying

She didn’t even know that I was crying

Because she was gone

Forever

The pain that I felt slowly abated

The loss became less

That she was gone didn’t matter so much
As the months then the years, passed by

I was getting used to the loss

And then she was a loss no more

She was a just memory